


Think Happy Thoughts

by NeonDomino



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Fluff, Hogwarts, Love Confessions, M/M, Patronus Charm (Harry Potter), wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-09
Updated: 2020-07-09
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:54:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25171954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeonDomino/pseuds/NeonDomino
Summary: Sirius Black has offered to teach Remus how to produce a Patronus, but Remus seems to be struggling. Clearly he doesn't have a happy enough memory, but Sirius will help him find one...
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 4
Kudos: 75





	Think Happy Thoughts

**Author's Note:**

> Previously posted in 2014.

* * *

"It's no use, Sirius, I'm not going to be able to do this," groaned Remus.

Sirius looked up at his friend from where he was lounging across the floor of the empty classroom they were practising in.

"Well, we just keep trying until we get it right, won't we?" Sirius said.

Remus shrugged. "We could wait until tomorrow and try again?"

Sirius shook his head. "Nope, we're going to keep trying until you get it right."

"Fine, how about we look at the book again?" Remus suggested, reaching for the book in Sirius' hands that Remus had studied in preparation for Sirius' lesson.

Sirius shook his head once more. "No, you've read the book three times now. This is the time for action. Reading the same thing again won't make any difference, you're just stalling."

Remus took a deep breath, trying to ignore the smell of leather that seemed to follow Sirius around, and he lifted his wand.

He focused hard on his happy thought.

"Expecto Patronum," he said, firmly.

Nothing happened.

He pushed his fringe from his face, and let out a groan, feeling quite annoyed. He turned to Sirius and raised his eyebrows.

"Okay, well, what are you using as your happy thought?" Sirius asked, curiously, wondering if the thought wasn't happy enough.

"The day I found out that despite being a werewolf, Dumbledore was willing to let me attend Hogwarts," Remus replied.

Sirius frowned slightly. "Well, that was a good memory to choose," he said, "but it's clearly not happy enough. You need to find something that is just more of a strong positive emotion."

Remus hesitated for a moment. "What do you use as yours?" he asked Sirius.

Sirius smiled, as he thought about the moment he realised he had fallen for his best friend. A few months before, Remus, having still been weak after the full moon, had fallen asleep on Sirius' bed. As Sirius debated whether to move from the bed, Remus had rolled over and wrapped himself around the dark-haired boy. Sirius had stayed awake for a long time after that, wanting to make the most of Remus holding him.

Whenever he wanted to produce a Patronus, he remembered how warm Remus felt in his arms, the way Remus clung to him, the feel of Remus' warm breath on his neck, as the other boy slept. He would focus on how right it felt to have Remus there with him in the bed.

"You. I think about how great we are together," he whispered, absently.

"Together?" Remus repeated. He liked the sound of that, but they were just friends, right?. Sirius wouldn't ever return the feelings that Remus had. the same feelings which Remus was determined would disappear over time. Although that theory hadn't worked over the last two years that he had been trying, in fact it was just the opposite, the feelings had just gotten stronger and stronger.

He cleared the thought from his mind, and focused back on Sirius.

Sirius' head snapped up as he realised what he had said. "Yeah, I don't have many happy memories that don't revolve around you, I guess. I... I usually think about..." Sirius paused, trying to think of something to say to Remus, "the sense of achievement when I finally became an Animagus, and how excited I was to tell you that you didn't have to be alone anymore," he lied.

Remus smiled.

"So... I'm your happy thought?" Remus asked.

Sirius nodded.

"But that's not really it, is it? You can lie better than that. So what thought of me makes you happy?" Remus was smirking now.

Sirius looked embarrassed, and shrugged. "There are so many, it's hard to pick just one," he said, sounding a lot more believable. It was true, there were so many, but Sirius always picked the same one. The night where Remus was cuddled into him and he could almost pretend there was more to it than a friend falling asleep on the man who's in love with him.

There was a long silence, as Remus tried to focus on his happy thought again.

"Expecto Patronum," he said firmly, but nothing happened.

"Will you show me your Patronus?" Remus asked, exasperated. "Maybe if I saw you do it, it might make it easier somehow?"

Sirius blushed and shook his head. There was no way he would show Remus the Wolf form that his Patronus had started taking, instead of the large Grim that it used to be.

"Why not?"

"Just because," he mumbled. "We're focusing on yours, not mine."

Remus nodded, and tried to clear his mind, and think only about something happy, something that drew strong emotions.

His mind turned to Sirius. The one person to bring out his strongest deepest emotions. He closed his eyes, focusing on Sirius alone, on the grin that usually plastered his face when he was about to pull a prank, the way the grey in his eyes shone making his eyes appear silver when he was enjoying himself. The lazy grin he gave whenever he caught Remus looking at him.

He thought about earlier that day when Sirius hugged him, the faint smell of dog that was always mingled with his natural scent ever since he had become an Animagus. The scent of leather from the jacket he constantly wore, and mint because Sirius had just come from the bathroom. Remus shivered as he remembered the way Sirius' arms had lingered longer around him than they did when Sirius hugged Peter or James.

He pushed the thought from his mind. He had to have happy thoughts that didn't revolve around Sirius. Surely there was something else in his life that drew such strong emotions? His mind wandered from pranks he had pulled with James, laughing and joking with Lily, when he was at home with his parents.

He settled on a small holiday his parents had scraped money together for, where they spent caught the Eurostar and spent two weeks in France between his transformations.

That was a happy occasion, they managed to forget the curse for those couple of weeks, and had actually family time, visiting museums, eating French food, it was a great fortnight. He focused hard on the holiday, trying to remember his excitement sitting on that train, how he was watching out of the window, watching the world rush past.

As he was about to say the words, a memory of Sirius pushed its way in front of the rest, the memory of waking up in Sirius' arms. How right it felt.

"Expecto Patronum."

A thin wisp of his Patronus came from the end of the wand, and Sirius clapped him on the back.

"That's something, well done Moony. What memory did you use?"

"It was when me and my parents went to France," he said, not admitting the rest. Sirius would probably laugh if he said it, or possibly even get angry at him.

Plus he had tried so hard to not think of Sirius, and that had clearly failed.

"Okay great. Now we need a stronger memory," Sirius decided. "What about... first kiss?"

"Just someone who used to live near me, but it wasn't really anything special."

"Someone?"

"Yeah some... person living in my town, we kissed and it was crap, and awkward, and I was relieved when they moved away with their family," Remus said.

Sirius nodded, quietly considering the words Remus used. Surely if it had been a girl, he would have had no trouble with saying girl or she or her? Sirius felt everything slowly falling into place. The dream he had, that Remus could be into guys, was possibly coming true.

But what are the chances that even if Remus did like other guys, would he really go for someone like Sirius? Remus was amazing, he was smart, funny and handsome. He was kind and caring, and would do anything for anyone. He was loyal, and anyone in their right mind would want Remus. If Remus had all that choice, why would he want Sirius?

 _'Because I'm Sirius Black,'_ he told himself, giving himself the only acceptable answer.

"So you need an amazing memory, something better then your holiday," Sirius mused, steering his thoughts back to the reason they were in the classroom, and Remus nodded.

Sirius thought for a moment, and came up with an idea. Something that could be counted as reckless and stupid, but at the same time, if Remus felt the same, it could be the start of something brilliant and amazing and perfect.

"Okay, I got it," Sirius said softly. "Close your eyes."

Remus nervously closed them, wondering what Sirius had planned.

He didn't have to wait long, as he listened to Sirius stand up from the floor, and felt the other boy move in front of him.

He could feel Sirius' breath on his face, noticing Sirius' breathing was as irregular as Remus' was starting to get.

Sirius moved closer.

"I want to give you a happier memory, Remus. Can I?"

Remus hesitated for a moment, but due to the proximity of Sirius and the enticing sound of his voice, he felt his head nod slightly, his heart pounding in his chest, making him feel dizzy.

"Good," Sirius mumbled, his fingers brushing a lock of Remus' hair from his face.

Sirius watched Remus' reaction closely, and could see the anticipation on it, and hoped that they were both on the same page, before he nervously brought his lips down to meet the lips of the shy blond in front of him.

As their lips met, Remus froze for a few seconds, and Sirius stayed still, his lips pressed gently against his friends.

He allowed Remus those few seconds to pull away, and when Remus didn't, Sirius gently moved his lips against Remus' soft ones, trying to entice Remus to respond, and before he knew what was happening, he felt fingers slide into his hair, and tangle themselves through his dark locks. Another rough hand slid around the back of his neck and he could feel Remus' lips moving in the most unexpected way. A tongue slid into his mouth, and he allowed his arms to slide around Remus, pulling him close, as he allowed his tongue to gently caress Remus' own.

Finally they pulled away, both struggling to catch their breath, both shocked at what had just happened, at how the kiss felt, and tried to calm themselves down.

Sirius looked into Remus' soft amber eyes, and saw a look he had seen so many times in the past. The same look Remus had when he felt he was undeserving of something that would otherwise make him happy.

He didn't want Remus to start doubting what had happened, to start making excuses or acting like he wasn't good enough, so Sirius quickly spoke up first, just as Remus went to open his mouth.

"I don't regret doing that, it felt... amazing," Sirius announced, trying to sound more confident than he felt.

"You don't?" Remus asked, his fingers moving to his lips, and tracing them.

Sirius felt nervous as he shook his head. He was terrified that he had ruined their friendship, or that Remus would give that smile of his and brush off what had happened. But as the thoughts ran through his head, all he could think about was the way Remus' fingers were running over Remus' lip and how happy the other boy looked, at both his actions and his words.

"Do you?" Sirius asked, "you know... regret it?"

Remus shook his head. "I've wanted to be brave enough to do that for a long time," he admitted shyly, and as the fear left Sirius' face, Remus felt a grin cross his.

"Try again," Sirius demanded, walking behind Remus, and wrapping one arm tightly around Remus' waist, and pulling him close, and the other grasping Remus' wand arm, as Remus lifted it in the air, Sirius' fingers wrapped around his, making him feel slightly light-headed.

"Expecto Patronum," Remus said, his voice not much more than a whisper, his head still spinning from the kiss they had just shared, and the feel of Sirius' breath on his neck.

He let out a gasp as his Patronus shot out, and bounded around the room.

"It looks like Padfoot," he murmured, as he felt Sirius let go of his hand, and his lips trail down Remus' neck. Remus felt his head tilt, to give Sirius better access, but Sirius pulled away, and pulled out his own wand.

"Expecto Patronum," Sirius repeated, and a wolf appeared. He lowered his wand arm, tucked his wand into his pocket and brought that arm around Remus' waist too.

"So, did you use our kiss as your happy thought?" Sirius wondered aloud, and Remus nodded, his eyes following the wolf. Sirius' previous reluctance over casting the spell suddenly made more sense.

"What about you?" Remus asked.

"Well, it used to be that time a few months ago when you fell asleep in my bed," Sirius admitted. "Just having you laying there in my arms..." he grinned as a blush spread over his cheeks. "But this is the clearest my Patronus has ever been, this right here, these last few minutes, this is what I'm always going to use from now on."

"So, what does this mean... you know, for us?" Remus asked, moving from Sirius' arms, to turn and face him. Sirius didn't let go, instead his hands slipped so they were rested on Remus' waist.

"Everything," Sirius replied, and hesitated for a moment, debating how much to tell the shy boy who was staring at him. He realised this was the moment to just lay it all out. Even if Remus didn't feel the same, Remus would never be angry at him, or hate him. "I love you Remus, I have for so long, and I guess I'm just tired of hiding it from you and wondering if you could ever feel the same. Tonight I found the perfect way to show you my feelings. I don't expect you to say you love me back-"

"I love you too Sirius," Remus confessed, his heart hammering as Sirius grinned, and pulled him close once more.

"Perfect. Do you fancy making some more happy memories?" Sirius murmured, and Remus nodded before their lips met again.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading :)


End file.
